My Love Affair with Art: A Journey of Rediscovery, Growth, and Passion

I was alone in this loving home with my husband. He is my world, and I love him deeply. But being in a new country, with only one person by my side, was a little scary. Sometimes, I felt lost. I started being selfish, demanding more of his time, because at that moment, he was all I had.

Back in India, I had to leave my baby with my dad, a happy and loved seven-year-old Labradore- Bradu. I missed him terribly when I moved to Germany. Maybe getting another furry little baby would solve everything, I thought. So this longing grew inside me, and soon, we welcomed our little Chloe into our lives. She was a scared little dog, rescued from Ukraine, terrified of the world around her. It felt incredibly fulfilling to care for her, to make her life better, to help her feel safe and loved. And just like that, my family felt complete—with my loving husband, we were raising and nurturing our sweet little baby.

I never craved motherhood. I never dreamed of being a mother, even though I love my mom and have immense respect for every mother out there. Their selflessness, their love—it’s incredible. Whatever I am today, emotionally and mentally, I owe to my parents. But I never felt that same selfless pull towards having a child of my own. I was never scared of a future without one. My plan was always that if I ever felt the need for a child, I would adopt. But for now, I had my husband and my dog and I didn’t know what else I needed.

Of course, I am a data engineer, and I love what I do. But it has never been truly fulfilling. Money never motivated me. Some ego boost from being awarded “Employee of the Month”? Maybe. But I always wanted something more—I just didn’t know what.

For as long as I can remember, I have been chasing something.

• First, I chased a good education and a stable career.

• Then, I chased professional success.

• Finally, I chased love, found my husband, built a home.

And suddenly, when I had everything I had once dreamed of, I felt lost. What was I supposed to chase now? This void inside me started growing. I had a life that most women would envy—a stable job, a beautiful home in a nature-filled city, wonderful friends, a loving husband. I had good health (well, relatively good health). And yet… something was missing.

Looking back at my childhood, I realize I always had a creative hunger. I loved making things from scraps, losing myself in creation for 12-14 hours straight—purely for the joy of it. So, I started creating again. But soon, our little three-room flat began to overflow with my work. That’s when I thought, Why not sell them?

It started with planters—handmade and hand-painted. Then I moved on to canvases. Honestly, I had never even bought a proper canvas until two years ago. I had always painted on planters, cardboard, whatever I could find. But as I explored, I found a new kind of excitement. Along with it, though, came impostor syndrome—the feeling that I wasn’t a “real artist.”

But I am a curious person. I read somewhere that pushing through impostor syndrome is part of every creator’s journey. So, I pushed through. I created many artworks, planned my launch, and started my Etsy shop, Maatipaati. I fell in love with Germany, researched business strategies, and suddenly, I was dreaming big—building a home decor brand from scratch. I had no business background, no family members who had ever done this. But there I was, lost in the world of research, strategy, and branding.

I did everything by the book.

1. Product research? Check.

2. Creating an Instagram handle? Check.

3. Buying a domain? Check.

4. Posting on Instagram and Pinterest? Check, check, check.

I even sold two pieces—one to a friend, one to my husband’s sister. They loved them. My first customers. Even though they were people who cared about me, I took it seriously. I put my heart into the packaging, added little surprise gifts, and felt incredibly proud when I got my first five-star review.

But then… nothing.

No more sales. No matter how much I posted or promoted, nothing moved. I started wondering, What am I doing wrong? That’s when I stumbled upon Milan Art Institute. At first, I watched their free videos, and they gave me the courage to invest in my artistic growth. For the first time in my life, I committed to professional training in something I truly loved.

But balancing everything—my job, the intense art course, my business—it became overwhelming. I wanted to spend time with my husband, enjoy the simple moments I had once taken for granted. Suddenly, I was craving that peace again.

That’s when I turned back to books. To the authors who knew more than me, who had wisdom beyond my own.

There have been many books that influenced me, but one stood out:

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

That book saved me from a dark phase once before, and in this rediscovery of my love for art, I went back to Elizabeth Gilbert. Everything about her—the way she writes, the way she thinks—felt honest, authentic, yet magical.

I had always prided myself on being a rational thinker, but when I started reading her work, I realized how narrow my perspective had been. I wasn’t logical—I was limited. I wasn’t open to truly seeing the world. And that humbled me.

Then, I read her book Big Magic—and it changed the way I saw my art.

For the longest time, I was obsessed with the end result. If a painting wasn’t beautiful enough, I would discard it. I had so many unfinished canvases, all abandoned because I didn’t like the way they looked.

And that, I realized, was selfish.

Instead, I want to fall in love with my art itself instead “The Artwork’”, not just the end result, but the process. I want to have an affair with my art. I want to steal moments in between my busy, calm, happy life and go on little dates with it.

Milan Art Institute is incredible—one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. But expecting myself to finish a section beautifully in a week? Unrealistic. I used to feel ashamed for being slow. But Big Magic made me realize something:

• Twenty years ago, I couldn’t even sketch properly.

• Today, I am creating art.

That is enough.

It’s not about finishing every painting. It’s about learning what my teachers want me to learn. It’s about playing, experimenting, and embracing the unknown—like I did as a child.

So today, I make a vow.

• I don’t care if I become a successful artist.- because that’s something I cannot control…

• I don’t care if my paintings sell for €20,000 or €200,000—or never sell at all. Because love can’t be transactional.

• But I vow to devote myself to this love affair with art.

• My only extramarital affair will be with my art. And I will chase it forever.

Like Elizabeth Gilbert says, I will put on my simple perfume and show up, again and again, for my art. I will seduce it, nurture it, invite it into my world—not with expectations, but with love.

Just like I love my husband.

I don’t care if my art is good enough, if people recognize it, or if it makes me rich. But I will take care of it, nourish it, and love it no matter what.

And every day, even if just for five minutes, I will go on a date with my art.

My fears and insecurities can come along if they want—but they are not allowed to drive the car and certainly cannot take control of the steering!!!

This chase will never end.

Because I can’t own art. I can’t possess it.

But I can allure it, every single day.

Thank you, Milan Art Institute. Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert. Thank you, books.

I am going to read, learn, and build the life I always dreamed of—with magic, passion, and an endless, breathtaking love affair with my art.

A Huge Thank You

I owe this new perspective on life and art to two incredible influences:

1. Milan Art Institute – Their teachings have been truly transformational, both in developing my artistic skills and shaping my mindset. They provide a structured, step-by-step approach filled with valuable insights that make the learning process deeply enriching. I highly recommend them to anyone looking to grow as an artist, no matter their stage in the journey.

2. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert – This book shifted my mindset entirely, teaching me to love the creative process rather than chase perfection.

This piece is a tribute to everything I have learned from them—thank you for showing me the magic in the creative journey.